


System Restart

by ljke



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: M/M, a rewatch, axel centric, implied isa content, kh3 robbed us all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-26
Updated: 2019-07-26
Packaged: 2020-07-20 12:44:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19992436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ljke/pseuds/ljke
Summary: Axel remembers what it's like to have a heart again.





	System Restart

**Author's Note:**

> you can't tell me he knew how to handle it after 10 years you're insane

With a nod, Axel agreed. He sent them off with his signature smirk and watched them all haul their keyblades to the next adventure. Deep inside, he was proud of them. Proud he was going to become one of them. He admired them greatly, and it made his heart soar to know he would finally,  _ finally _ be doing the good he always dreamt of doing. No initiating nobodies for a future unclear, no more lies, no more numbness and no more empty. 

As the door closed behind the last back, his own slumped uselessly against the creaking wardrobe whose contents he would never see. The thought occurred to him that he could simply turn round and open it, to find out, but another itch in his brain told him the skeletons he might find there may be of monsters more horrific than those in his own. It caused a shudder to go down his spine, and a sharpness burst through his heart. 

His thoughts jumped back as he watched his keyblade disappear, jumped back to the pride. The grin on his face faltered for just a moment, as he thought the only person who would be proud of  _ him _ after all he’d been through was not present. Axel had no idea where that person was. His heart felt as though it was ice in a room too hot. His throat felt like sandpaper, and suddenly his eyelids were too heavy for him to carry. He closed them, and let the projetor behind his eyes light up to simpler days. 

Blue, blue hair, blue eyes, blue sky, blue moon. A smile he was quite blue without.

“ _ Red, _ ” that ever-bitter mouth would say, lips blue from the chill. “You’ll be good, won’t you? I can’t keep you out of trouble forever.”

“You aren’t supposed to,” said he. “You’re supposed to cheer me on from the sidelines. Be proud of me, like friends do.”

The stars shone in those blue eyes like a million worlds he hadn’t seen. Stars made of pride. “Alright. But if you keep losing fights like that, I’ll have no reason to cheer you on except for your frisbee throw.”

Axel’s heart beat again, and like a remote it changed the channel.

Water dripped from lashes like awnings, brows knit like levees to lead the icy liquid down an upturned nose. “Don’t be a bastard,” those eyes said. “Fuck you,” those lips refused to say, ever the prideful prude. 

“You’re wrong,” said he. 

“I’m never wrong, Lea,” he said. 

He could only hope the green he gave off now was like moss, growing patient in the sun; and not the arrogant jade that had made him push his friend into the fountain. He saw the sapphire, hardness 9, soften to a lapis, 5. All was not forgiven, but Lea could bare it, like friends do.

Again a drum, his chest lifted and sank with the feeling he could never go home.

His head spun, and he sank to his knees. The wardrobe gave quiet protest, but soon hushed when it, somewhere, must have realized Lea’s torment. It provided him no comfort as he ran gloved hands through his hair, pulled and then stopped pulling for fear of sensation. As he heaved and then heaved harder for fear his out of practice heart would explode without all the oxygen in this world and the infinite space surrounding. Thought and thought and thought and never stopped thinking, fearful of the bullet train that was his own mind, throwing himself off the track lest it run him over. 

He thought of that home, long gone. He thought of the way it made him feel, how it made him cry and laugh both then and in this very dizzying moment. He thought of how much he missed it, wished to be near it so. He thought of all the comfort it provided, of knowing it was in tact and knowing it was full of goodness, of light.

And just before his heart flipped the lights off in his mind, Lea thought of how beautifully blue it was.


End file.
